I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
