Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
