your thong is hanging out like whoa
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
