His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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