i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
