i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize