is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
