So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize