i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
