We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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