I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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