I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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