O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
