You're my little dorito
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
