i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
