They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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