So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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