i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
