I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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