Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
