Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
