Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
