Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I need to align my fucking chakras
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
