Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
