I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
