I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
