Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i believe in u and ur pee
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