Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
