I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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