Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
