It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How's work?
Spinning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
