take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
