you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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