i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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