I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize