What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
