So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
