I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
