Someone shit on the floor
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
