ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
