I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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