Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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