are you so shy because you have an std?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
