To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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