i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
