I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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