let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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