I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
