real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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