she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
