We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
whose ass print is on the piano?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
