we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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