i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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