She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
