I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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