I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize