I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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