Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
