We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Randomize
