I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
