your room smells of hookers.
And success
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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