You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
