Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize