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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.

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• (714): View more from California

  How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Because you touch yourself at night.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  ...What time of day am I supposed to do it?

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons

  (214): View more from Texas

  What

  (830): View more from Texas

  The only downside is I can't stop skipping

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.

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