I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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