I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
