Do you still have your period?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
