she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
