I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
